If I were to sum up adopting a toddler in one sentence, it would be this: It is rewarding, but it's not always a box of chocolates. Toddler adoption is very common. About 50% of adopting families end up adopting toddlers for a variety of reasons. Some believe that the imaginative and autonomous nature of a toddler is something they wouldn't want to miss witnessing. Others do sign up for younger infants but due to delays (especially in the case of international adoptions setups), the child grows up to be a toddler by the time he or she actually gets adopted.
Parents who wish to adopt toddlers have a lot of options. They can choose to adopt domestically or internationally. Among domestic and international adoptions, you can choose between private and public adoption agencies. The prices differ dramatically between public and private agencies. In the case of domestic adoption agencies for example, the public state-supported ones cost up to as much as $2500 only while those which are private can reach as high as $30000! It is really your prerogative on what type of toddler adoption option you will make use of, for as long as you can afford it and you are ready for the requirements of the agency. Adoption classes are required in domestic adoption options, but even if they aren't required in international adoptions, you might find it beneficial to subscribe to one. You may need to give out as much as 30 hours for adoption classes before you will be granted the right to adopt a child. In the case of international adoptions, you may need to prepare for more than just a payment to the agency because some will require you to stay in the country where you adopted the child for as long as one to three weeks.
You will definitely need a huge dose of patience and and background on your toddler before adopting him or her. The main characteristic of toddlers is that they exhibit severe particularity to their autonomy and for testing their boundaries. You will find the adoption experience more pleasurable if you are able to condition the child prior to your full adoption. You can do this by sending in your pictures to your child months before you come to take him home. Also, it will help you if you visit the child frequently before you take the plunge and bring him home permanently.
Despite your most effective conditioning techniques, you might find the transition phase in adopting a toddler extra difficult. You can expect to be severely tested, especially if the child you adopted has a very scarred past. This is something you need to take into account. You must know as much about the child as possible prior to adopting him or her. Talk to his or her caregivers frequently, and while you are the new parents, don't deprive the child of the right to keep in touch with her friends in the adoption home. It is also good to hook up with other parents of adopted toddlers so that you can trade unique experiences together. Having affiliations will help you deal with the transition phase more effectively.
Many parents who've adopted toddlers who were severely abused, got too attached with their caregivers or underwent a traumatic experience found that their expectations of warm hugs and tiny welcoming hands weren't exactly met. More hostility, months of compromising and enduring fits of anger and temper tantrums shocked them. But this is actually how toddlers are prone to act especially when they are still trying to get used to the new environment.
As a potential parent for an adopted toddler, you will need to have lots of patience and time to build attachment and a relationship with the child. It may actually require you to take a leave from work and devote the time fully as parent to this toddler. You will also need to adjust a lot yourself, and be physically fit enough to meet the demands of this new endeavor. Whether toddlers will adjust easily or not, they are quite a bundle of energy to handle and tame, so you must be able to have the endurance and stamina to keep yourself strong and firm to establish not just attachment but also authority.
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