Tips on Creating the Profile of Your Ideal Adoptive Child

Choosing whom to adopt is a process that should consider various factors besides your preferences. It should also take into consideration, among other things, the instant connection between you and prospective infants or children available for adoption, and of your capabilities as an adoptive parent.

Tips on Creating the Profile of Your Ideal Adoptive Child

Gather everyone in your immediate family to determine the best profile for your future adoptive child. As adopting a child will affect not only you and your spouse but your birth children as well, it’s only fair to count in their opinions as well in shaping the profile of your ideal adoptive child.

Gender – Gender inequality in a home usually makes parents yearn more children of the opposite sex. This is understandable, but can you guarantee that you won’t allow the situation at home to affect how you’re going to raise your future adoptive child? If, on the other hand, you’re single, you should choose the gender that you feel easiest to relate to.

Age – People prefer to adopt babies because they want to be able to watch them grow just as if they were the ones who gave birth to them. Adopting a baby will also give you the benefit of having a child free from any preconceived notions. You can raise him the way you want him to. 

But those are the good sides to adopting a baby, and remember that there are always two sides to a coin. Raising a baby isn't all about cute toothless smiles and warm cuddles. It also means waking up several times in the night for bottle feeding and diaper changing. There are other huge costs to raising a baby: you might be surprised at just how much you have to spend purchasing baby supplies, furniture, and food! Are you ready for all those demands?

Another considerable obstacle to adopting a baby is the decreasing supply in contrast with the ever increasing supply of older children. Many parents aspiring to adopt shy away from adopting an older child simply because they feel they’re harder to take care of since they already have existing character traits you might not desire in a child. Also, if they have traumatic experiences in the past, those are something you need to help them cope with as well. An older child may need less care physically, but he definitely needs greater support emotionally and mentally.

Race – Ideally speaking, it’s best that you adopt a child of the same race as you because you can connect more easily with each other. Secondly, if you choose not to admit the truth of his parentage early on, having the same skin color and type will prevent other people from easily guessing the truth.

Adopting a child from a different race is a precious gift that requires more careful handling. Firstly, you have to ensure that immediate family members will be able to accept and love him regardless of racial differences. Secondly, you should be prepared for inevitable instances when you meet a person that’s racially biased and protect your adoptive child from any racial abuse or discrimination.

A child from a different race, especially if he’s older, might also require you to adjust to different cultural values and get past language barriers.

Kids in Your Family – If there are kids in your family, you also have to consider their ages and choose the age of your adoptive child accordingly. It’s best that you choose to adopt someone closer to their ages because this will allow them to relate to each other more easily. Choosing someone obviously older or younger might promote feelings of envy, and that’s naturally not ideal during the adjustment process.

If possible, consider the age of kids in your extended family and neighborhood as well to determine if the number of playmates your adoptive child will “inherit”.

By this time, you’ve painted a fairly complete profile for your ideal adoptive child. You can now contact various adoptive agencies and relay your preferences. If all goes well, you'll be on your way to meeting the newest member of your family in a few months’ time. But if you hit road blocks in your journey – don’t despair and persevere. Don’t settle for anything else unless you feel completely right about it!